Why It's So Hard to Disconnect From Work (Even on Vacation)
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Each week, I share real talk about building a life you actually enjoy—the wins, the fails, and everything I'm learning along the way.
(Prefer to listen? Throw on the audio version on Speechify and absorb this while you're doing literally anything else. Real human voice, zero robot vibes.)
I once stood in one of the most beautiful places on earth… and felt absolutely miserable.
Glacier National Park.
Towering mountains. Sparkling lakes. Wildflowers in every color you can imagine. There were even bald eagles soaring overhead like something out of a movie. It was the kind of scenery that makes you want to cry a little because it's just that stunning.
And me?
I was hunched over my laptop. Watching Slack. Refreshing my inbox. Stomach in knots.
I'd taken a full week off work.
Except I hadn’t really taken any time off at all.
Every moment of cell service was a moment I was checking in. Every notification pulled me right back to the office, even though I was standing in what looked like a literal fairy tale.
I spent that whole trip with a pit in my stomach and this low grade dread I just couldn’t shake.
Not because anything was actually on fire at work.
But because I had never actually learned how to disconnect.
If you've ever wondered why you can’t stop checking your inbox and notifications work while you're on vacation, you're not alone.
For a lot of high achievers, the habit of staying available doesn’t magically turn off just because the calendar says “Out of Office”.
And once that habit is there, your brain doesn’t really know the difference between a Tuesday afternoon and a vacation in the mountains.
The Real Reason It's So Hard to Disconnect From Work on Vacation
Looking back now, I feel a lot of compassion for that version of me.
She was just a hard worker who hadn’t yet learned that hard work has a stopping point.
She was deep in a pattern she didn’t yet know how to break.
Overworking had become her default.
Almost her identity.
She believed to her core that being constantly available made her valuable. That checking in meant she cared. That responding quickly meant she was good at her job. And that taking real time off was something she’d earn someday. Just not yet.
The tricky thing about this mindset is that it often gets rewarded.
You respond quickly. People praise your reliability. You become the person everyone trusts to handle things.
But slowly, without realizing it, constant availability becomes the expectation. And eventually it becomes the habit.
Even when you're technically on vacation…
Overworking Isn’t a Personality Trait
Here’s the thing most high-achievers never hear:
Overworking isn’t a personality trait.
It’s a habit.
And habits, even the deeply grooved, years in the making kind, can be unlearned.
I know because I unlearned it.
Not overnight.
Not with one big dramatic decision.
But slowly, I started questioning the belief underneath the behavior.
The one that whispered:
“Your worth is your output.”
“Your job is to always be available.”
“Rest has to be earned.”
None of that was actually true. I’d just never stopped long enough to question those thought patterns.
But once I started pushing back and questioning that default thinking, something interesting happened.
I began noticing how much of my time and energy was being spent trying to prove something that didn’t actually need proving in the first place.
What Changed for Me
The subtle questioning started leading to subtle shifts in behavior.
Not just with how I managed my calendar. But how I prioritized my time.
What actually needed my attention. What didn’t. And what I wanted my time to be spent on instead.
Eventually, I started experimenting with small changes like closing my laptop at a reasonable and consistent end time. Not checking IMs after hours. And actually letting a vacation be a vacation.
At first it felt uncomfortable.
Almost irresponsible.
But over time, my nervous system started to calm down. The constant background anxiety I’d gotten so used to slowly faded.
And eventually, I started taking vacations where I actually came home rested.
Trips where I was present with the people I was with.
Time away where I didn’t spend the last night dreading Monday morning so badly I wanted to hide under the covers and disappear.
That old version of me would have called what I have now impossible.
But I’m telling you it’s not.
If You Struggle to Disconnect From Work
If any part of this hits a little too close to home, the anxious checking, the IM notifications, the vacations that don’t really feel like vacations, I want you to know something:
That behavior is not just who you are.
It’s a habit.
And habits can change.
The way it’s been doesn’t have to be the way it stays.
Learning how to disconnect from work isn’t about caring less about your job. It’s about remembering that your life exists outside of it.
For me, that trip to Glacier wasn’t a failure.
It was the nudge I didn’t know I needed.
Sometimes the moment you realize you can’t disconnect from work is the exact moment you begin learning how.
About Me
Hi, I’m Kara. I’m a former workaholic turned time-management expert. I help women stressed out in their 9-5 get more done, in less time, so they can get back in the driver’s seat and start living a life they love.
